Ego and Feelings

The topic of the Ego is a complex one. It is common these days to talk of letting go of your ego. As if ego is a bad thing.

I think Ego is more just how we view ourselves.

Too much Ego

Too much ego and we distort reality and see ourselves as better than others; especially when we really don't have much to show for it. This is what most people think of when they see ego. As in the picture, the house cat who think he's a lion. That self-image will quickly come to correction if he actually meets a real lion.

Too Little Ego

Too little ego and you undervalue yourself. Imagine a lion who grew up timid and looks in the mirror and sees a housecat. While he may not be the toughest lion in the jungle, the reality is that he is still one of the most powerful creatures out there. He is certainly not a house cat.

Right Ego

The right ego is naturally looking into the mirror and seeing you for what you are. All your positives and negatives.

Ego is another language of Feelings

I read this article that was pretty interesting.

It is not feelings that are hurt, but ego.
Ego is, for general purposes, a sense of:
  • Self-esteem
  • Self-confidence
  • Self-image
  • Self-worth
  • Self-assurance
  • Self-importance
Therefore, the next time you are tempted to tell someone that they hurt your feelings, determine what aspect of your ego got bruised and then talk about that.

If you think about it many times your feelings are hurt, chances are you can relate it to this part of an ego. They are not distinct thing. In the same way, any time your ego is hurt, you can relate it to a feeling.

There is a nuance that most people would point out though.

Your ego is your sense of self and damages to it manifest in deeper ways.

For example, suppose you are to meet a friend of dinner and they do not show up.

A feeling might be to get angry at your friend for wasting your time.
A hit to your ego might be that you take in that your friend doesn't view you as important enough and this hurts your self-worth.

They are both triggered from the same event, yet they manifest in different ways.
I'd say in many cases, the two reactions are so intertwined that they cannot be separated.
People will lash out in anger at someone even though the real problem is the self-worth or ego.

It is important to have a healthy ego. A healthy and accurate view of oneself. It is of course important not to read into the actions of others and have that impact your sense of self. Maybe someone missed a dinner just because they're flaky and not because you're not that important to them.


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